Do you remember how lonely you felt riding in the passenger seat hair blowin out the window at 3am on a Thursday night, driver was some guy you met about 2 hours ago, whole head tatted like and running from the law. . you got a few weeks before you’re gonna return to university yeah you’re just a sophomore in college, didn’t grow up like this, wasn’t raised like this. . looking at yourself in the flip down mirror, pupils like gaping black holes headed nowhere how did I get here? Wanna call someone, Idk who maybe my dad or that boyfriend that said he loved me but I lied to too many times . . just wanna call someone idk anyone and hear that I’m loved. One hit off that pipe and I’m gone, left a little piece of me on the streets that night.
Fast forward bout a year later. I got sober through 12 steps but really only had to take 1 step and His name is Jesus. He knew me but I didn’t know Him yet. I thought I did but I was in a taking relationship, just thinking how much I could get like and blaming when things didn’t go my way. . I piled my plate sky-high with coursework and goals for the future, a relationship that was abusive, got reclusive but the voices in my head were louder, demons from the past. Yeah they wanted me back, but I kept pushing, still fighting, until I ran out of money. Curiosity killed the cat well it got me, and I met a young woman at the right place at the wrong time sitting in the cubicle head noddin’ to the floor.. she was high. I knew. Everyone staring as she stumbled to the bathroom, I followed her to help her. But her demons helped themselves to me and I helped her get a ride home but then I got her number. Mistake #40. Hit her up just to chat, meanwhile scheming and curious about what she did at night. She took me. To the strip club we went first thing they asked was let me see your tits and I showed em. Didn’t care .. who was this girl? Backstage we went, centipedes slithering up and down the spiritual walls then I was trying out. It wasn’t hard just take your clothes off how hard can it be? Try to be seductive with it, just move around and be sexy. I did and stared straight ahead at nothing but a spot in the wall, over the tops of greasy heads, I couldn’t look em in the eyes. Quick grab the dollar bills on the stage and try not to slip. See how many lapdances you could get, or better yet a VIP. Wait are they allowed to touch me there? Oh well they payin me more so why not let em go to second base . . pretty sure its not legal nor is it comfortable . . but the money is what I want and need. Next thing you know im craving drugs, and that girl has heroin so off we go . . money goes quicker than it comes and im lost in the vortex of sin.